Journey with me as I ever so slowly attempt to run 50 races in 50 states by the time I am 50...

Friday, August 19, 2011


I stole this topic from Shannon at the Scribble Pad, because her post yesterday really got me thinking.

In this blog, I am mostly (self-)identified as a runner, which is actually funny because growing up I was never an athlete and it took some time to be able to call myself one. I still feel a bit of shock today when anyone else calls me athletic as people from my past would never have seen me that way.

My friend Katie recently jokingly called me a loner as most of my facebook profile pictures show me, walking down a path, alone. The reason I'm drawn to these pictures is because I sometimes see them as a metaphor for life. Not that I'm not surrounded by amazing people in my life, because I most definitely am, and I know I am only moving forward because of them all, but because I feel alone sometimes in figuring out where I am going, who I am, and what I am doing. And I constantly want adventure. I see myself walking forward carefully into the great unknown. But is that how others see me? I don't know why they would. In reality, I feel like I'm mostly fumbling along in life, nowhere near where I thought I would be at this age, yet I know I have little to complain about, and life is good.

I'm speaking at church this weekend about identity and how Jesus calls Simon a rock. He defines him not by his actions, but by his purpose for him. I need this reminder sometimes.

Another thing that got me thinking is that Peter (Simon's nickname or a new name given by Jesus) actually means "rock" and that got me thinking about my name. Caitlin means "pure" and somedays I think I am anything but. I am irreverant and scattered and definitely my own kind of broken. But that doesn't define me either.

Like Shannon, I also got thinking about all my various identities...I could be seen as:

Team Builder

And I'm sure many more.

So identity is tricky. We need to allow for some flexibility, and I think be patient with ourselves. Maybe the point is not to identify too much. What do you all think?

So with all these thoughts and questions of identity tumbling around my head I chose this picture for today's flashback because it is an example of how I most like to see myself. Happy. Positive. Silly.

                              Lover of Life.

This is a pretty terrible picture of me, of course, but it captures the kind of moment in life I love. Creating your own fun, forgoing inhibition, laughing with friends.

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